My recent mindfulness task has been an eco-friendly one. After watching No Impact Man I was motivated to start doing something(s). I'm not sure how or when I came up with it, but I realized that we're kind of silly when it comes to lights. As Americans, we often just flip them on by habit when we go in a room, and if you're my roommate, you generally don't flip them off when you leave it. Now that it's spring, it's light for a good part of the day/evening. Even if the kitchen or the bathroom is dim, it's still light enough to get most tasks done. Why do I need to turn on the lights?

So my self-imposed task is to be more mindful of lights in my house. To break the habit of flipping on the light when I go in the kitchen to make my morning coffee. Even though it's not super bright, it's bright enough. First, opening the shades during the day is imperative. Second, letting my eyes adjust to dimmer areas when it's not sunny out - turning down the brightness on my computer monitor, for one, so as to not need lights when I go into a dim room. Mindfully entering a room, recognizing when I habitually flip a switch, uncontrolled by my mind but instead by bad habits formed over years of American living. Could I even go as far chopping vegetables at night by candlelight?

Next task: Turning off my laptop every night when I go to bed.

For the first time ever I am finally seeing positive physical changes in my body from my diet & exercise routine. This, combined with a few other surface improvements, have begun to help me like the way I look more than ever before.

Yesterday, as I was milling about my bedroom on a lazy Sunday, getting ready to go to the gym, I paused in front of my full length mirror. I love this mirror. My mom got it for free from the foreclosed house next door, and knew I had wanted one. It sits on the floor, so that when you stand right in front of it, you can see your feet. So as I was seeing myself in this mirror, I felt the urge to look closer.

There is that cliche about "discovering your body for the first time" and I never really gave it much thought, but as I sat on my hardwood floor, butt naked, in front of my full length mirror, I really did see myself for the first time. Not that I hadn't seen myself naked in a mirror before, but I had never studied myself before. Sitting on the floor naked was a whole new way of looking at myself. I laid down. I did a push up. I bent sideways, and forward, and looked up and down. Then I just sat there, cross-legged, and I was so mindful of me. I didn't push all thoughts out, but I pushed all thoughts that weren't about my body out. It wasn't earth-shattering, but it was peaceful, and it made me smile.

It somewhat remotivated me to keep working so hard at the gym and in the kitchen, too. And I think that this needs to become a daily, or semi-daily, routine. Closing my bedroom door. Shutting the blinds. And observing myself.

Food
The grocery store nearest to my house (which is one of four that I shop from, but do so the most often) stopped selling single rolls. What I mean is, in the bakery they used to have a case where you could buy one, two, five hard rolls, in the same way you can buy single donuts from a case. I generally don't eat much bread, but sometimes I have a craving for a sandwich or a burger, so it's nice to grab one roll for that meal instead of buying a pack of 6 or 8 which I will either have to let rot, or eat. Well, the case is gone. When did it become normality to buy big packs of rolls, and not have the choice to just buy a few? Of course, the massive donut case still lives on. I suppose I will be taking my business elsewhere.

Meditation
I have enjoyed reading this today. I particularly found The Psychology of Wellness: Part 1 helpful. "I know that there are a great, great many of you who will read this, understand it, agree with it, and still not meditate. Know that you are fooling yourself if you think intellectual knowledge equals real understanding." That is me. And I know I need to get started. Perhaps this simple explanation and path can get me going. I may just make myself read it every day until I do.

Zen
A young but earnest Zen student approached his teacher, and asked the Zen Master:
"If I work very hard and diligent how long will it take for me to find Zen."
The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years."
The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast -- How long then ?"
Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years."
"But, if I really, really work at it. How long then ?" asked the student.
"Thirty years," replied the Master.
"But, I do not understand," said the disappointed student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that ?"
Replied the Master," When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path." 

This is not politics.
This is hope.

Take a moment today to appreciate you have five senses. Become aware of your sense of taste. Your sense of touch. Your ability to hear. Your ability to see. Be aware of your ability to smell.

It's funny that this prompt should come up now. For the past week I've been quite ill, and in the past few days it has turned into a sinus infection. On Sunday I was unable to taste the wine at a wine bar on vacation. Yesterday I was barely able to taste a ginger chew, at least not until my throat started burning. It's a stark realization; not the presence, but the absence, of your senses. There's the saying "You don't realize how much you take it for granted until it's gone...and then you can't get it back" but this is a rare chance to realize how awesome something is, and then get it back. I have never experienced the absence of taste and smell, two things that, as a food lover, I could not imagine living without. For a moment even I thought: "What if?" - what if it didn't come back? Yes, life would move on fairly normally, but much less flavorfully.

As I recover, and after I recover, my goal is to be mindful of taste and smell in particular. They seem to get lost in the "what if I went blind" or "what if I went deaf" hypotheticals.

Mindful of the bite of ginger.
Mindful of the subtle flavors in a cup of tea.
Mindful of the smell of coffee in the morning.
Mindful of the roundness of a particular glass of wine.
Mindful of the smell of spring on the horizon.

I have been reading a lot about mindfulness, meditation, minimalism, and all of these things lately. I've wanted to apply meditation, and thus higher mindfulness, to my life, but still have yet to sit down and do it. I'm hoping that by logging my observations, trials, thoughts, and endeavors, I may become more mindful of being mindful...

...I don't expect anything here. One day maybe a quote I read, the next day a response to mindfulist.com, photos, memories, thoughts, dreams, nonsense...once a day, ten times a day...

It means nothing. And everything.

A thoughtyard blooming butterflies.